Hell hath no fury like a three year old not allowed to play at the playground after preschool.
I have to blog about today’s “incident” today, as there were dozens and dozens of parents, kids, and teachers who got to witness the epic fit Brielle threw today while leaving pre school. Today was a great day until about 2 minutes after getting Brielle from her classroom when school let out. Good thing I has already gotten the twins and had them strapped into the stroller. The twins’ teacher said they had a great day at school today. Which was good news, because on Tuesday we had our first report that Charlie hit another child. No, my kids are not perfect. I never anticipated that they would be easy either, as I wasn’t an easy or even close to perfect child. I am a strong and determined woman. That didn’t just start as an adult. I had that temperament as a child. I have heard countless stories from my parents about how I used to hold my breathe and pass out when I didn’t get my own way. I can happily report that I no longer do that.
Now I have a strong willed daughter. She has a very sweet personality and is naturally loving. I watch how she is with her brothers. She reads them stories at night and sings them lullabys. She always tries to hug and kiss them often (which they are not as fond of). She tells me many times a day how much she loves me. She also talks about how thankful she is for her Mommy, Daddy, and Brothers. She is naturally sweet and loving (more so than I ever seen from her brothers so far, and they too are sweet). However, when she makes her mind up about something she is determined, strong willed, and persistent. Today was one of those days.
I picked her up from her classroom and she wanted to ride on the stroller out to the car. It is a 2 seater stroller so she perches herself on the front, which makes it heavy and hard to push. I said “if you walk like a big girl you can play at the indoor playground”. She started walking, but then changed her mind and the fit began. I told her if she fussed we would not go to the playground (we pass the indoor playground when we leave the school). She kept at it, crying, screaming, and pulling on me. I had to follow through on my threat so I said lets get in the elevator to go we will not be going to the playground because of your behavior. A nice older couple (grandparents) held the elevator while I pushed the stroller in, loaded down with 3 backpacks, 3 lunch boxes, and a large bag containing 2 nap mats. All while physically pulling Brielle into the elevator, so it doesn’t close on her flailing body which was laying in the frame of the elevator door opening. The fit persisted the entire elevator ride in front of this lovely couple and their granddaughter. I took her into the bathroom for a firm one on one “talking too”. She calmed down for about 30 seconds and then it started up again once we started down the hall. Now she was more determined than ever to convince me that we needed to go back and play on the playground. I kept walking, talking calmly to her, as she perisisted in pulling on my dress, kicking me in the shin, and hitting me numerous times. She has NEVER hit or kicked me before. This was a first and she did it in public in front of lots of people!! Did I mention that being a Mom is sometimes really tough? Especially on our already frayed nerves.
This behavior persisted all the way to the car. Keep in mind I can’t walk too fast, as she is pulling on me and hitting me; of course all while I have to push the twins in the stroller with all the bags. Did I mention she ripped the fabric bag holding the nap mats in her fit throwing, so I now had those in my arms too. I stop several times to regroup and crouch down to let her know her behavior was not acceptable and she needed to stop crying, screaming, and hitting and start walking normally. I even called my husband and tried to get him to talk to her. Of course she wanted no part of that conversation. Good thing I didn’t hand her the phone or she would have thrown it!
By the time I finally got to the car another Mom approached me and offered to help. I said “no, that’s ok, but thanks so much”. After watching me struggle with my best efforts to get her in the car, this mom, who I don’t even know, but now know her name is Mary, came and insisted on helping. She said “please let me get her in the car and into her car seat”. She also said “I have 2 kids and I understand. I see you have your hands full”. I am so grateful. Thank you Mary for your help! Someday I will pay it forward and help another Mom in this way. Brielle listened to her of course. It is one thing to be in trouble with your own Mom, but to have another Mom come and intervene, Brielle knew she was in trouble and she became slightly more cooperative. Oh, she did throw up during all of this because she got herself so wound up (it was only like a teaspoon, so it didn’t even faze me). Mary talked to Brielle very calmly, yet firmly the entire time. She got Brielle into the car seat, strapped in, and calmed down. I was thankful for the help, as I was able to get the twins in their seats during that time.
I like to find the good or positive in any situation. You may wonder, what would any good in this situation be?? Mary, another Mom willing to step in the line of fire from a three year and help another desperate Mom. She was my angel today. I am also thankful Brielle didn’t hold her breath and pass out. She has done that twice in her life. That would have topped it all off…having someone call the paramedics because my child passed out from throwing a fit.
I am also thankful that she is three going on four…I hear that they get better in their fours??
Finally I am thankful she is up in her bed. She gets ornery when she is over tired. I think that is an understatement today. I can smile now, knowing she will be waking as her normal, happy, sweet self in an hour or two.
In the meantime I will be praying we NEVER see a fit like that again!!