Jimmy Evans was one of the keynote speakers at the XO marriage conference at Gateway Church on February 12, 2016. He has incredible wisdom and insight about marriage. His show “Marriage Today” goes out to approximately 110 million households everyday on Christian networks across the globe. At the conference Jimmy Evans spoke about a number of topics including intimacy, marriage “musts”, and lies/misconceptions we have regarding marriage. Here are the 4 lies he spoke about.
- Lie- Sex is intimacy. This is a lie, because in intimacy, sex is only about 1/4 of the equation. If sex equals intimacy then sex addicts would be the most “in love” people in the world. Instead, people with sexual addictions often have many partners and are in fact quite lonely. People who seek sex for the purpose of intimacy (outside of love and marriage) often end up very unhappy and damaged.
- Lie- Intimacy is perfect when you marry your soul mate. This is lie. No marriage is perfect or easy. Intimacy is about actions, not just emotions.
- Lie- Intimacy is just for some, not for everyone. This is completely false. Being married proves that you have the desire and need for intimacy.
- Lie- Once a marriage is so damaged you can’t be intimate again. This is untrue. God can heal a marriage. Any marriage. A marriage that is having a rough patch is like farm field experiencing a drought. The seeds are in the land, it is ready, but it needs water. God is that water in a marriage. Once the land is watered it thrives and grows again. When God is poured onto a marriage that is having problems, God can cause that marriage to heal, grow, and thrive.
Here is my commentary on the lies Jimmy Evans discussed above-
Knowing these lies and understanding them is important to every couple. It is hard to combat a lie when you don’t know it is undermining your marriage. One of the lies that stood out to me is #2. No marriage is easy or perfect. Marriage is between two imperfect people. It takes work. Intimacy takes an effort. It is not about just sex either. Intimacy is spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental. I need to work to relate and connect to my spouse in all these areas in order to have true and full intimacy. God is good. He is the ultimate healer. I am going to make sure I pursue God and HIS solutions when we get to the bumps in our marriage. We will have bumps. Every marriage has them. It is how you handle them and react to them that matters the most. Why not got to the creator of marriage and the one who heals with miracles when things get rough? This conference was a reminder that God needs to be the first avenue for a solution when our marriage hits a rough patch. God is interested in the details of our lives, not just the earth shattering. If we seek him in the details we may be able to avoid the earth shattering.
I am thankful for my marriage and will work to make it a success LONG TERM. I am thankful for a husband who feels the same way. God is good. I am thankful God is a God of goodness who wants us to have happy, fulfilled marriages.