Hope is not a strategy when it comes to change. Commitment is what is needed to make change happen. Not just a wishy, washy commitment to change that fades in a week. Real change needs real commitment. Dismissing your excuses and “buts” and exchanging them for commitment to the process of change is what is needed to make change happen.
The good news is that your personality and behaviors can be changed, but it is up to you. You can’t change anyone else, but you can change yourself. Below are the steps needed to create change in your life. Its up to you to make that change happen, nobody can do it for you, but you can certainly find help along the way.
Awareness for the Need to Change
You can’t go on blaming your problems and issues on other people or circumstances. Eventually you need to take the bull by the horns, own up to your short comings, and get on a path to change. The first step toward change is acknowledging that you have something you need to change. If you don’t think there is something about you that needs to be changed or improved, then you are in denial, because there are not any perfect people in this world.
Look at the repeated problems in your life. The issues that seem to come up time and time again. Do you keep gravitating toward the wrong relationships, but you blame the people you are choosing, rather than looking at your problem in the selection process? Do you jump from one job to another, yet blame co-workers and bosses, rather than look at what you may be doing to cause problems and dissatisfaction on the job? We are creatures of habit, so look at the patterns that you have in life that are negative. The ones that keep coming up and causing problems. Then look introspectively to see what it is in you that is causing these repeated life problems to occur. If you can’t figure it out on your own, then go to a counselor for better understanding. If you can indeed figure out what it is in you that needs to be changed, even better. Once you recognize the need for change and what it is that needs to be changed, then you can move to the next step.
Believe that Change is Indeed Possible
There are people out there who believe that personality is unchangeable. When confronted with their problem such as constant negativity they lash back with “that’s just who I am”. It may be who you are, but does it need to be? Change in personality and behaviors is possible. Nobody stays the same from one year to the next, let alone across a decade, so why not move change in the direction that is best for you and not just let it happen. Be proactive about the change you want in your life, including the belief that change can occur.
If you don’t firmly believe that change is possible, then you are doomed to fail. You must believe that change can happen. Look for success stories and people who have changed and done what you so deeply desire to do. Seeing that others have been where you have are, and have accomplished the change you desire will help you in your process to accomplish that change.
List the Benefits in your Life and the Lives of Others for this Change
In order for change to be meaningful you need to buy into the premise that the change is necessary for your betterment. If you quit drinking alcohol, but deep down still crave alcohol every day for the rest of your life has change really happened? The change needs to happen in your mind and for you to fully desire the benefit of that change in order for your change to be meaningful and long lasting. People who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
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