Did you know that yelling at your child can cause just as much damage to them as hitting them? The majority of parents resort to yelling, screaming, or simply raising their voices when they are trying to get a message through to their child who is acting out. They know that yelling isn’t the best way to parent, yet time and time again they find themselves raising their voice as it seems to be the fall back method to get their child to listen.
The Problem of Yelling: It’s Too Weak to Change a Child’s Behaviors
The problem with being a parent who makes it a habit of yelling, is that this tactic can be as damaging as hitting your child and the yelling often becomes ineffective, which is exemplified by parents who increase the volume of their yelling over time. Parents will raise their voices louder and louder, until it reaches a point where every time they go to correct their child they yell at maximum volume, as this has become the habit and way for getting any reaction out of the child. If the yelling has no consequences other than the yelling itself, most kids find this is not a strong enough deterrent or effective agent of change to permanently change their behavior.
An Effective Parenting Approach Can Be a Whisper With Prompt Results
Effective parenting uses a softer approach that not only communicates to the child on their level for greater understanding but also uses an approach that has immediate consequences that are consistently utilized.
There are ways of parenting that use a softer approach that actually get children to obey. If parents start using a “One Ask Approach”, they will find their children listen the first time they say things.2 It isn’t magical though. It takes time and consistency. The child needs to understand that if they are given a warning and they still fail to obey then a consequence immediately follows.
Parents who are consistent with the follow through will see that over time they can even whisper the warning to their child and get effective and prompt results. Yelling is not efffective in the long run. However, since yelling is the most habitually used parenting tactic when children act out, the one ask approach needs to be better understood and practiced by parents in order to reduce their habit of yelling.
Use the “One Ask Approach”
The one ask approach is simply a method of parenting that involves warning your child only once and if they don’t alter their behavior the consequence/punishment immediately follows. There are three basic steps for a parent to follow:
1. When the child does something wrong, they are told only once how and why their behavior needs to change or there will be a specific consequence.
For example, if your child is jumping on their bed you simply state “you need to stop jumping on your bed by the count of 3 because I don’t want you to fall off the bed and get hurt. If you don’t stop jumping by the count of 3 you will be put in time out for 5 minutes”. This warning is only said once and is said in a calm yet firm tone. No yelling or raising of voices is involved.
To continue to my article, which was published in full on LifeHack.org go to: http://www.lifehack.org/607269/the-only-effective-way-to-teach-your-children-well?ref=star_profile_latest_posts