There are some people that will have affairs because of their fear of abandonment. That may make zero sense to you, but here is why — they have such a deep fear of abandonment in their current relationship that they pursue outside relationships simultaneously, so that they have a back up relationship in case something happens with their current marriage or relationship.
In this article, I will look deeper into the cause and consequence of having the fear of abandonment and how to overcome this fear to lead healthy relationships again.
What is fear of abandonment
Bustle.com examined research on the topic of fear of abandonment and infidelity and stated the following:1
People with abandonment issues and lower self-confidence are more likely to cheat.
This is obviously not a healthy way of dealing with fear of abandonment. It is harmful to the person who is being cheated on and also is mental torment for the person trying to manage and keep both relationships afloat. They are putting their relationship at stake, living a lie and obviously not dealing with their fear of abandonment in a healthy manner.
Signs of fear of abandonment
People with fear of abandonment can exhibit a variety of behaviors. Many of these behaviors are destructive to relationships, so the fear of abandonment should be recognized and dealt with appropriately for the sake of the relationship and both individuals involved in the relationship.
Below are some signs that someone has the fear of abandonment:
- Feel jealous often.
- Perceive others of the opposite sex as a threat to their relationship.
- Give too much or go overboard in the relationship.
- Have thoughts about their partner or spouse leaving them.
- Demand unrealistic amounts of time with their significant other.
- Have difficulty in completely trusting their partner or spouse.
- Look more at the faults in their spouse or partner than positive attributes (again this is about pushing away the person or failing to trust them completely).
- Have a hard time being alone if a relationship ends. Always look out for the next relationship or significant other to replace the one most recently lost.
- Have feelings of resentment if their significant other does an activity without them such as going out with friends.
- Feel unworthy, less than or unworthy of love.
- Have lower self-esteem/ self-confidence.
- End relationships before the other person can so that they have control over the potential abandonment.
- Move too quickly in relationships because they are fearful the person will leave the relationship if things don’t move to the next level fast enough.
- Stay in unhealthy or abusive relationships because of the fear of being abandoned or alone.
- Feel jealous of platonic relationships that their spouse or partner has, such as with work colleagues.
- Are controlling of their significant other, especially when it comes to their time and interaction with others.
- Overanalyze the relationship on a regular basis, often nit picking on the negatives or problems rather than focusing on the positive qualities within their partner and relationship.
- Will pursue relationships with people who are emotionally unavailable.
- Cheat on their spouse or partner.
An individual does not need to have all of these behaviors to have fear of abandonment issues. Some people with fear of abandonment issues possess only a few of these behaviors. However, having even a few of these behaviors is unhealthy and detrimental to their life and relationships….click on the link to continue reading: https://www.lifehack.org/749779/fear-of-abandonment-signs-and-ways-to-overcome
