I have written a number of posts about marriage including 2016 Priorities and Top 8 List for Being a Better Wife in the New Year, Marriage Conference: Lies We are Told About Marriage, and 8 Tips to Become a Less Nagging Wife. I don’t want my readers thinking I am writing these blog postings because I think I am the best at doing this “marriage thing” or that I have the best marriage. Now, don’t get me wrong, I have a very good marriage. I am extremely grateful for my husband. THIS TIME. That’s right. I have been previously married. I obviously got divorced, so therefore I have failed at marriage. I admit it. If you get to know me, I am transparent about my past history. It is part of who I am. However, I don’t want it to be who I am now. This means I don’t want to become a Marriage statistic. Unless it is a good statistic. One that has beaten the odds! More than half of all marriages end in divorce. Subsequent marriages have even worse statistics. Rather than be an ostrich and stick my head in the sand, I want to acknowledge that this is the world we live in today and that these thing happen, but I can beat the odds. To be honest, it seems to some extent divorces are widely accepted in our society. Which makes it even easier to throw in the towel when you know society isn’t going to shun you or ostracize you. Society will often encourage divorce with the “you need to do what makes to YOU happiest right now” philosophy.
I am committed to make my marriage as good as it can possibly be. Not just beat the odds, but to lead a joyful, happy, love filled marriage together. I have been given a gift of a husband. Now honey, don’t let this go to your head too much…BUT I KNOW that Justin is a gift from God that I never thought I would have or even deserve for that matter. I had a failed marriage. He was never married, never lived with anyone, and was/is a Christian man who was waiting for the right one. I feel blessed that he chose me as “the one”. He is an exceptional husband and father. Perfect? No, but neither am I. However, he tries each and every day to be the best Dad and Father that he can be (literally before he even gets out of bed each morning) for which I am endlessly grateful. Not all men are cut from this mold. I credit his upbringing. Good Christian parents and grandparents. I am so thankful.
With all that being said, I will keep my marriage front of mind in my life. My husband will always come before my kids, as that is what God intended. Now, granted, the kids take more time, which means I need to make a conscious effort to set aside time for my husband to make our marriage satisfying and fulfilling for both of us.
If you see more blog postings about marriage, please know it is not because I am judging anyone. I am not! For Pete’s Sake- I have been divorced! I am trying to study all that I can on what makes marriage successful. Especially, as God intended marriages to be happy…a blessing for both husband and wife. I want my marriage to be the best it can be, as I do for every married couple that I know! If you are divorced, please know that there is hope and God has a plan for you. I am grateful that God’s plan was better than my own! My husband and our children have been the most incredible, loving, wonderful gift God has given me on this earth. Thank you God for these blessings!!!
You are so right in your priorities! Take a look at some of the work done by The Gottman Institute on marriage. A few years ago, they added a “fifth horseman of the apocalypse” of marriage–joining criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Take a look at their work. Fascinating. (I always wanted to be a marriage counselor and went to grad school in psych–interesting that I became a divorce lawyer!) I am a firm believer in marriage. Ever the optimist, I am a newlywed. 🙂
Oh that is so interesting Vera! Thank you for sharing! I will certainly be checking out the Gottman Institute on marriage. Congratulations on being a newlywed, I am so happy for you!!